Since my last post in July, time kind of got away from me! Summer ‘arrived’ for real, with vacations, BBQs with friends, visiting family – lots of fun things that helped balm the pain of the last few months.
What is interesting about self-care, like daily yoga practice for example, is that sometimes, when things take a turn for the better in your life, it can be easy to put aside. Although I have been trying to have a daily yoga and meditation practice since the beginning of this training, August was a struggle, especially early on in the month. I did practice every day, but the practices were shorter and during, I sometimes felt frustration, not present.
Our homework from the last YTT weekend was to start trying to construct yoga flows and to begin teaching. This is hard, really hard. Finding what flows well together, balancing out the practice, thinking about cueing. It’s a lot.
August started with a weekend in the company of my 6 best friends in the world, by a lake, no kids, no men. Just us, water sports, camp fires and a little bit of wine. This weekend was to celebrate my 40th birthday which was in June. That weekend was yoga for the heart. My heart felt full for the first time in a while. I can never thank my friends enough for that.
Then, I had an amazing surf vacation at the ocean with my sons, my first vacation since the end of my 15-year relationship with my boys’ father. This felt like a huge moment and I felt an immense pressure
for it to be perfect, or at least go well! This is when the daily yoga became harder, I felt driven to fill the days with fun, no time for me, no time for thinking, no time for too much feeling. This was not all bad. It did help to mend some pieces, I can’t lie. But the part that was bad, is that when I needed the daily yoga again, when a family emergency cut this vacation short and changed the end of summer plans, I felt like the yoga and the meditation was not in my back pocket. It was not as easily accessible as it had been in the past few months.
I worked at it though, hard… Daily. And it came back, the ease getting to my mat. Ashtanga helped, the structure makes it rhythmic, like a heartbeat, reassuring. This unexpected family emergency brought my entire family together and, in the end, we shared some amazing moments, including a very brief yoga session that I lead with my sons and 5 nieces/nephews!
Summer has now almost come and gone. I’m finding new passions (like skateboarding!) that my daily yoga practice has given me the physical and mental strength to try. I am starting to feel like myself again, maybe a slightly different me. Better in some ways, still a bit broken in others, but on the mend. School is back in session, I’m adjusting to my new life as a single parent and part time parent… finding some parts of it not so bad. With fall coming, I’m ready to start fresh. Fall has always the start fresh time for me, not spring.
I have so much homework from YTT to catch up on. And I have to learn to get out of my head, jump in and try to teach. Next month (this month) is our weekend retreat together. I am so looking forward to seeing all my lovelies again and experiencing the retreat.
My August top 5 will not be about events in the YTT weekend, as I missed it due to my family emergency. Instead, my top 5 will be just the top 5 moments of my month
- Seeing my oldest son get on a surfboard and love it
- Paddleboarding with my best friends
- Having my entire family together
- Reconnecting with old friends
- For the first time in a while, genuinely believing that I’m going to be ok
Blog post to report on the start of fall, before the end of the month retreat to follow!
Nadine is the 2018 winner of Energie EnCorps YTT #WhyIamWorthIt Scholarship,who will be blogging on her Yoga Teacher Training experience over the course of the year. Follow her journey. Celebrate with her in her a-ha moments, relate to her struggles and learn how the philosophy of yoga can be brought into your own life. Thank you so much to Nadine for letting us all into your mind this year. Learn more about the Ashtanga Yoga Teacher Training and Mentorship programs at Energie Encorps West Island, an internationally recognized Yoga Alliance School, click here: http://bit.ly/2ASHwg5 Interested? Follow Nadine Dumas on instagram!